Living proof this can help your marriage!!

Photography by Sarah Renzoni (one of our maternity pictures zoomed in)

Marriage is hard.

Marriage is even more difficult when you throw in a child or two into the mix.

I always knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but seriously, it is HARD!

Becoming a parent wasn’t easy for us. As you all know we struggled for a while to become pregnant and then to stay pregnant. If you struggled to get pregnant, you know the kind of affects that can have on a marriage. You lose yourself in it all, and quickly become obsessed with it all.

So add on a few years of being obsessed with being pregnant and then becoming a mom, it is SO easy to lose yourself all together.

Resentment sneaks in, anger sneaks in, and slowly you both can drift apart.

It’s been a lot of work on our part with a lot of ups and downs, as is every marriage, right??

It’s so easy to start seeing all of the things that completely annoy and piss you off about each other, right??

We have been on the upswing lately. I think as your children get a bit older and less demanding, you both can breathe a little more. But something else shifted my perspective a bit.

My hubby turned 40 last week. So as we get older it becomes more and more difficult to give a gift that means something. So yes I got him a gift but I also decided to write out 40 things I love about him/

I started a couple of weeks before his birthday so I could really think of everything. I started paying attention to him and looking for the good!!

Ladies, I was looking for the GOOD in him, not focusing on the annoying stuff!!!!

I knew this all along!!! Why wasn’t I doing this sooner!

When we focus on the good stuff, the bad stuff doesn’t seem so amplified…. and sometimes we overlook it!

It is like a gratitude list but for our significant other!!!

If you find yourself annoyed at your hubby often and feeling like you both kind of lost yourself through parenthood, try this!!!!

Here is the list I made for him that I read at our dinner party:

1. You make every uncomfortable situation comfortable.

2. Your home is your pride and joy and you are always making it more and more ours.

3. You are one of the most dedicated people I know waking up at 3:30 to hit the gym before work.

4. You have overcome so much in your life with a lot of reasons to give up and you never did.

5. You are terrible at keeping secrets. As you say it’s not you that can’t keep a secret, it’s the people you tell .

6. Your family means everything to you.

7. You are one of the hardest working person I have ever witnessed.

8. You will do anything to make sure your family has what they need.

9. Instead of running away from danger you run into it to help.

10. You Stack a mean dishwasher.

11. Pizza and buffalo chicken tenders are your jam.

12. You have the best abs of any 40 year old I’ve ever seen!

13. You eat my cooking no matter what and never complain about what I make.

14. I think you hold the world record for amount of calve raises done in a lifetime.

15. You have a way about making people feel a part of something even if they aren’t. 

16. You are one of the most forgiving people I know.

17. You have amazingly thick hair that grows at a rapid pace!

18. You will always be a country cowboy.

19. You are a true Red Sox fan.

20. You can do pretty much anything around the house except connect the water hose to the refrigerator.

21. You are the best shadow boxer around.

22. You smile ear to ear when you are with our children playing—especially “fighting.”

23. You know how to make me feel special as well as our children.

24. You entertain all of my crazy ideas that I come up with.

25. You help me see the brighter side of things.

26. You are a morning person and together we always will be.

27. You support all of my dreams and endeavors I have been on—even when we first started dating and we went to nyc for American idol.

28. I married my father even though when I first met you I would have never thought that.

29. You have the tightest group of friends that I’ve met. No matter how long time goes by you all have each other’s back.

30. I will never forget when i first met you and you pulled my chair right next to yours.

31. If i tell you i want to move a room around or change a room, you make it happen ASAP or tell you I want a pool!

32. You make shit happen.

33. You bring me up when I am down. And put up with all my emotions every single day!

34. You have a silly way about you to always make us laugh.

35. You will try anything once.

36. Although sometimes you think I’m whacky, you go along with all of the health habits that I have instilled with the family and myself.

37. Breakfast will always be a special meal for us.

38. You can fall asleep as soon as you put your head down in the matter of seconds. Anywhere.

39. We have been through so much as a couple and I will never forget the moments when our world stopped and you were right there looking into my eyes and knowing you will never leave me.

40. You are my rock, my love, and my best friend. I love you with all my heart and soul. Happy Birthday!

We all know about positive thinking, but sometimes we forget to apply it. I challenge you to try this for a week, and see the changes yourself!!

Sending So Much Love,